Disclaimer: Property of many people who are not yours truly.
The first year they remembered Christmas, they celebrated it the same way they did everything else: by getting totally legless.
There was some drunken caroling, the Cat danced, Kryten ironed the tinsel, Lister made turkey curry, and the scutters insisted on decorating the tree with wing nuts for some reason known only to themselves. It ended, as usual, in unconsciousness and traffic cones.
Even so, it occurred to Arnold Rimmer that this was probably the best Christmas he'd ever had. The thought was simultaneously happy and indescribably sad, and it was still spinning around his head when he passed out.
The End