Author: duck
Recipient: Scroll
Rating: PG
Fandoms: Firefly, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Summary: River Tam follows a crow into the perfect hiding place.
Author's Note: Written for Scroll in the Multiverse 2005 Crossover Challenge, who requested River Tam (Firefly) & Star Trek: The Next Generation. Set after Firefly's one season run but before Serenity the movie, and before Nemesis for TNG.
River stood on the steps above the cargo bay. She wasn't above it precisely; she was only standing two steps above the bottom. The walls of Serenity arced up beside her, sloping up gently to give the illusion of a wide open space. River stretched out a hand and ran her fingertips down the cool metal. In these walls were home and love. She knew this from deep down inside herself.
River smiled, an open-mouthed grin of a child's joy. She laughed just because she could and took the rest of the steps with one leap, her bare feet making the grating rattle with the impact of her landing. She wanted to jump again, to hear the abrupt whoosh of air in her ears. Infinite air, rushing until it stopped.
"No air behind the walls," she said, tapping the metal with her first two fingers. "Cold behind these walls."
A black bird looked at her from his perch on a tree. His dark eye glittered with mirth as he studied her.
"Do you know a good hiding place?" she asked him. "Kaylee's coming to find me and I want somewhere new this time."
The crow, because that's what River knew black birds were in stories, cocked his head at her. He gave one irritated croak, like she'd disturbed him. He did know a hiding place, River was sure. Crows were tricksters.
"Share with me, Crow," she commanded. He ruffled his wing feathers and settled down with his head turned away from her. She rolled her eyes and gave an exaggerated sigh. She didn't have time to play nice with the bird.
"Please will you show me a hiding spot, Crow? Kaylee will be done counting soon." She made her mouth a thin line, a rip of disproval tearing through her face. "She always counts quicker than she's supposed to."
Crow turned his head to study her again. Maliciousness and power oozed from him in waves, beating her back and pulling her closer all at once. "You're too young for my secrets," he told her. "Come back in a few thousand years. Perhaps I will show you my secrets then."
"But Kaylee will find me," she protested. "All I want is a hiding place."
Crow ruffled his feathers again and stared through her with one black eye. "One secret and you'll want more. The ignorant always do."
River should have been angry that he called her ignorant, but she was smart, had always known she was smart. Just because a crow said she wasn't didn't make it true. One thing she'd invariably found to work over the years was to be quiet and not let up with her eyes until the other relented. Her mother had always gone under after only a few seconds, her father after a minute, and Simon never had to be stared at in the first place. He was a sweet brother like that.
So she simply looked at Crow until he let out another irritated croak.
"Fine," he said. "But don't come running to back to me for more. One lesson, one secret, that's all. You'll have to do the rest on your own."
He launched himself into the air with a whoosh that roared in River's ears. She ran after him with a delighted laugh. A feather floated down in front of her and she scooped it up, dancing it back into flight.
She slowed her dance across the cargo bay when she realized Crow had flown to one of the smuggling nooks. She hid there all the time! Crow would not cheat her out of a new place.
"That will be the first place Kaylee looks for me, Crow," she said, filling her voice with bored disappointment. "I thought a bird who claimed to be as wise as you do would know how to find a good hiding place."
For a moment true irritation swirled in Crow's eyes. Its malevolence frightened her, but she didn't let it show. She was proud of how well she could hide things. She had to be good at it with everything she knew, even if sometimes she let things show too much.
"It is not the place that matters," Crow said, all traces of irritation gone. "What matters is where you intend to go in your head. Concentrate, twist it, and step through."
River understood exactly what he meant, but she found the meaning fuzzy. It was easy, what he told her. So easy she was surprised she'd never thought to hide like that before. But there was still a fog over the meaning, like maybe she didn't understand the principle of the thing. No matter, when she did it she'd understand it. She always understood how to do a thing once she tried it.
River stepped forward and Crow hopped out of her way. He watched her intently as she twisted the catch on the hidden smuggling space. The piece of the wall fell with a hollow thunk at her feet and she pushed it aside. She glanced at Crow before crouching down on her hands and knees in front of the opening. He gestured with one wing. Use your hand to open it.
"But I did use my hands!"
"Use your hands as extensions of your mind. Your hands can do precious little, despite man's vaunted opposable thumbs. But your brain is capable of handling so much more. A strong mind makes strong hands and strong acts." Crow was very nearly hopping with delight. He cackled to the heavens, to Serenity's walls. His former perch the tree burst into flames and River watched the flames rush by. The air was hot and dry.
She reached out with her hands, groping for it. A light flashed, so bright she thought she would burn up. But there was no heat and River felt her fear drain away. This was just like anything else she'd ever tried. It was easy. She crawled inside the light and felt the power in her hands.
The abruptly the light was gone and River wasn't on Serenity. People she didn't know were staring at her. River did the thing that seemed most natural: she started to scream.
Lights. No, one light. It was throbbing insistently in her eyes. She was back with the hands of blue. It was the only place she'd seen lights like that. Where was Simon? Captured, killed, incarcerated. Met with an "Accident" with a capital A that whipped the blood like death.
And the rest of the crew. Mal, Kaylee, Inara, Zoe, Wash, Shepherd, Jayne. They were a litany in her head. The men with their blue hands and serpentine smiles had likely seen Serenity met with an Accident. Capital A. Maybe they'd been towed into a bad orbit, or the engine had exploded, or they'd run out of fuel in Reaver territory. Maybe they just disappeared. All because they'd seen her, had a hint what they'd made her capable of.
"Two by two, hands of blue," she mumbled. Blue hands washed Serenity right out of the verse. No matter how hard she strained she couldn't find them.
"Not hands of blue, sweetheart," her mother said above her. No, not her mother. A woman with red hair. Kaylee would have laughed to know it was called strawberry blond.
The light disappeared and the woman smiled down at her. "I only have a bit of blue up here," she said, fingering her collar. There was blue peaking out from underneath gray that covered her shoulders. The rest of her outfit was a utilitarian black that made River want to cry. Her eyes though, the compassion in them reminded her of Simon. She was a doctor.
She was a mother, just not River's mother. Her son, something about her son. "Where's Wesley?" River demanded. The doctor didn't step back, but she did narrow her eyes.
"Do you know Wesley?"
"No," River said. Truth is easiest. "He's safe though. I think."
River tried to sit up, but the doctor put her hand on River's shoulder to keep her down. River didn't like being kept down. "I need to run a few more tests, and then you can see about getting up then."
"What tests?" She didn't mistrust all doctors because she trusted Simon, but she didn't trust any doctor who wasn't Simon. "I want my brother. He's a doctor. He takes care of me."
"Who's your brother, sweetheart?"
Maybe they didn't have Simon. Maybe Serenity was still free. But how had they gotten her and why couldn't she find them?
"You're trying to be nice, but you just want to hurt him."
"I don't want to hurt anyone." The doctor had something in her hand that beeped as she passed it over River. "I just want to know who you are. How you managed to appear on a starship that's been at Warp Four for a week."
Starship. Alliance cruiser. No, not Alliance. Something that wasn't Alliance. Something big, but not Alliance. The doctor wasn't in an Alliance uniform and the design wasn't Alliance. It had the sterile feel of an infirmary, but it played it off with carpets and neutral colors and smiling people. River felt almost at ease here, but there was something not right.
"Warp," River repeated. The word was unfamiliar, like something that belonged in another language.
"Yes, warp," the doctor said soothingly. River didn't like to be soothed.
"What is warp?" It must be some description of space travel, but she'd never heard of it before. Warped, distorted and twisted. She was warped. She could not also be at warp.
"Warp," the doctor said, and River heard concern. "It's faster-than-light travel."
River scoffed. "Faster-than-light travel is an impossibility. Xiang-shu proved that as an object approaches the speed of light, the perception of time slows until it reaches the point of infinity. The power required is theoretically infinite."
The doctor smiled at her and released her shoulder. "I think you're getting black holes confused with light speed." River bristled. "We use matter/anti-matter reactions to generate the power necessary, and I can assure you there are no time dilution effects. If you want a lesson on basic warp mechanics I'm sure one of our engineers would be happy to sit down with you."
She moved away from River and picked up a flat metal box. A tiny metal stylus appeared and she began making notations on the box. No, on a screen in the box; River could see the glow of it.
"Were you raised on Gamma Epsilon, or somewhere else? It must have been pretty isolated for you to never have heard of warp technology before."
River twisted her head as she studied the doctor and let her hair fall in a curtain over her face. "She doesn't understand."
"Who doesn't understand what?" The doctor looked confused. "I don't understand where you come from, no, or who you are."
River struggled to make the she herself. "I do not understand the question. What is Gamma Epsilon?"
"It's the planet Enterprise was last at. We're pretty far out from Federation territory to pick up a human, especially one who seems to have stowed away."
"Enterprise," River said. She liked the way the word fit in her mouth, so she said it again, enunciating each syllable precisely.
"Yes, Enterprise, a Starfleet ship," the doctor confirmed. "I'm Dr. Beverly Crusher. I'm the Chief Medical Officer onboard. What's your name? I probably should have started with that."
She smiled at River, and River couldn't believe the friendliness that was behind the expression. The only people who had ever smiled at her like that had been on Serenity. Genuine. Real. Like eating fresh vegetables after a year of colored protein.
"I was eaten away," she said. "I was once a girl; now I'm nothing but a tool."
"Even tools have names."
Trust was starting to bloom in her chest. Like a seditious weed it grew, unwanted and overwhelming.
"River. I am River."
Dr. Crusher showed her a computer terminal and River wanted to be efficient about her time with it. She looked up Serenity first, but the system didn't work like a connection to the cortex. There was a ship named Serenity, but the transport vessel that appeared was designated "USS Serenity NCC-2566." That wasn't Serenity's name, and it wasn't her.
River looked at ship specifications next. The data was limited - clearly her access was censored and likely monitored - but she did discover layouts. She zipped through them, memorizing as she went. Primary Hull, Engineering Hull, crew quarters, bridge, engineering, shuttlebays, computer cores. The information was all surface and only helpful to a visitor.
But she did find a helpful file called "Introduction to Warp Field Theory and Application."
Five minutes later when Dr. Crusher came to retrieve her, River had assimilated all she could glean from it about warp theory and matter/anti-matter injection. It was fascinating what this said would work. Warp coils in twin nacelles generated the warp field layers that allowed the ship to move faster than the speed of light. The power necessary was generated through a precisely controlled injection of matter, anti-matter, and plasma into a crystal of something called dilithium. The element lithium was one of the first ones River had learned when she was two, but she'd never heard of dilithium.
She itched to pick apart the engine itself, to lay out its pieces until she could figure out what each of them did. If Kaylee were here...
Kaylee. Simon. River cried for them.
Somewhere she heard the soothing doctor's voice telling her she was going to give her something to help her sleep.
"No needles!" she wailed. "Her skin can't be pierced!"
"Just a hypospray; no needle, River."
Something cool hissed at her neck. It was quiet again.
Crow was in her dreams. He was staring at her. She didn't like the feel of his eyes on her, so she turned away. He was still there in front of her.
"You can't change what you are," he said.
"What they made me."
Crow disappeared and a man took his place. He had dark hair, a smirking mouth, and Crow's eyes.
"You can grow here, River. They'll help you. They're always suckers for the downtrodden," he told her.
"I want to go back to Serenity. I want to go home."
The man watched her, his eyes cold and calculating. He tilted his head first one way, then the other. He was looking at something beyond her.
"I can't take you home, River." He didn't seem very upset about it. "And I told you I'd only show you one thing. If you ever want to get home, you have to figure it out for yourself."
River woke up angry. Crow tricked her into coming to this place and now he wouldn't help her get home.
"River, you're awake."
Doctors had a tendency towards stating the obvious.
"This is the captain of the ship, Captain Picard."
A bald man in a red-trimmed uniform stood next to the doctor. The only captain River had ever been familiar with in her life was Mal, and it only took one look to know this man was nothing like him. They were both kind and decent men, but this Captain Picard was of the law, and Mal broke it whenever he could. There was hurt there, pain in the past, but it was tempered by control and experience.
River didn't like him. He was too controlled, too much of a diplomat and not enough freedom.
He greeted her with a polite manner, a man accustomed to many distinguished guests and not about to treat her as anything less. Maybe she did like him a little bit.
"River, I've just had an interesting visit."
She liked his voice. It was deep and accented with learning. He reminded her more of Shepherd Book than Mal. He preferred peace over violence, but he was dangerous in a battle. Mal had a habit of jumping for a fight, but the Preacher hung back until the fight found him.
"A man came to visit me and told me we needed to take care of you for him. Usually I'm very disinclined to do what he says."
River folded in on herself. "Wolf in sheep's clothes comes and shepherd hurts when he can't stop it."
The captain looked at her with a steady gaze. "The shepherd always protects his flock when he can, River."
"I want to go home."
"Where's home?"
"Serenity."
It was silent for a moment. Finally, "River, who hurt you?"
A woman with dark hair and black eyes showed her to guest quarters on the port side of the ship. River knew how to get there because she'd seen the layout of the ship, but she wouldn't be let out of anyone's sight. No matter how unobtrusive they were, the two security guards trailing them were there. She didn't really mind though. She usually had someone with her, watching her.
Wherever she was, it was quieter here. The parts of her that told her things about everything were muted here. They still whispered, but it wasn't insistent. She felt suddenly stricken colorblind; the verse was still there, it was just somehow less. She didn't know if she liked the feeling or not.
Important things jumped out at her, like the doctor's son and the captain's compassion. One of the security guards was worried about impressing a xenobiologist and the other was anxiously awaiting the results of a promotion board. The woman guiding her was in the early stages of planning her wedding. But that was all River knew.
"Here's a replicator for whatever food you need. Just tell it what you want and it'll materialize here."
River walked away from the woman, pacing the distance of the floor. The quarters were four times as large as her room on Serenity. The furniture was positioned precisely enough to satisfy anyone's sense of aesthetics, but it lacked any true artistic influence. It was military, but not oppressively so. Something within her resonated with its style, and she liked it.
"There's a limited-access LCARS station on the desk. You're free to read almost any of the database, but there are some classified systems that you don't have access to."
The colors of the room were as neutral as the ones in the infirmary. River was becoming accustomed to it. Serenity was alternately bright and dark, but here there was an even smoothness to this ship. She could hardly tell that she was even on a ship.
"We have recreational areas around the ship, including three holodecks and a lounge called Ten Forward. I can show were they are if you like."
The window dominated the room. It seemed as large as the windows on the bridge of Serenity, but the window itself wasn't what attracted her attention. The stars were actually streaking by outside. It was so beautiful and so impossible. River fell in love with the view instantly. She sat down on the bed, legs crossed and hands gripping her knees tightly, her eyes not moving from the stars.
"I take it you really haven't been on a starship at warp before?" River finally noticed that the woman had been talking to her. She processed what had been said, dismissed the information she already knew, filed away what she didn't, and shook her head. She didn't think she'd ever been at warp before.
If she concentrated she thought she felt a gentle thrum of power. But there was nothing else to indicate she was going faster than light. Other than the movement of the stars.
"I remember my first trip off Betazed." The woman was fondly recalling a memory. River liked the warmth in her voice. Everything here was so warm and friendly. "My father took me out when I was four. He was a Starfleet officer and he couldn't bear the thought that his daughter could go much longer without having been off-planet."
"I live on a boat," River said, trying to explain she'd been in space before. She lived in space. "We only make planetfall every couple weeks to pick up supplies and run jobs between worlds. Have to keep away from the Alliance."
"Who's the Alliace?" the woman asked.
"Mal calls 'em bureaucrats who just get in everyone's way. He and Zoe fought for the Independents, so we avoid them." River didn't tell her they were after her and Simon too.
"River?"
"What's your name?"
"Deanna Troi. I'm the ship's counselor. We were introduced in Sickbay, remember?"
River didn't. Her memory failed her sometimes.
"Wasn't paying attention. What's Betazed? Is that a planet?"
"Yes, my father was human and my mother was Betazoid," she explained. Betazoid?
"What's Betazoid?" Maybe there were aliens here. That would be strange to meet someone who could talk and it not be human. Maybe she already had.
"A Betazoid is someone from Betazed. We're telepathic, but because my father was human I'm not a full telepath."
River thought they might be alike then, even if she was half alien. River couldn't read minds exactly, but she knew a lot, especially if she concentrated on it. Mal said she knew more than she oughta. She scared people with that, but maybe if she and Deanna were alike she wouldn't scare people here.
"People afraid of you?" River asked.
Deanna took a moment to answer, hiding it by sitting down in the chair next to the bed. "Sometimes. But most species here are used to the idea. Everyone has their own unique attributes; mine just helps me do my job better. Captain Picard said people are usually afraid of you."
River nodded. She still hadn't taken her eyes away from the stars, but she turned to look at Deanna now. "How did he know that?"
Deanna sighed and crossed her legs, cupping her hands over one knee. "Captain Picard has had many dealings with Q in the past. He seems to believe what Q tells him about you."
"Who's Q?" It sounded like a person. Maybe it was another alien.
"Q brought you here."
"I brought me here. Crow showed me how, but I did it. Is Q Crow?"
Deanna sighed again. "Probably. He loves to stir up the Captain just to see what he'll do. He seems to enjoy playing around with the 'lesser creatures' of the universe." The derisive way she said lesser creatures let River know Deanna was considered one herself.
"He said I could be like him in a few thousand years. Why did he show me how to come here? I want to go home."
Even as she said it, she looked back out at the stars again. There was just so much here that she wanted to explore, but she still wasn't even sure where "here" was. She wanted to go home to Simon and Kaylee and everyone, but she wanted to learn more about warp drive and Starfleet and this ship. There was just so much.
Deanna seemed to sense the conflict in River - of course she would if she were a telepath. "Why don't we go to Ten Forward and you can see how the view changes there? I can introduce you to some of the crew and you can get a feel for how things work around here."
There was an unspoken hint that River would be there for a while. She didn't like having her decisions made for her, but it felt easy for now. She could want to go home and still explore what this place had to offer without forsaking Serenity.
"Yes," she told Deanna, "I would like that."
Deanna explained that the lounge wasn't actually called Ten Forward, but a lot of the crew had been stationed together on another ship and called it Ten Forward out of habit. She led River, her two security guards still trailing behind her, to a table where two men sat. One was black with vivid blue eyes and the other such a pale shade of white he made his companion darker by contrast. The pale man had yellow eyes that assessed her with the efficiency of a computer.
"Are you an alien too?" she asked him, not bothering to hide her frank curiosity. The black man laughed as the pale man cocked his head at her.
"I am an android," he replied. His cool face broke into a warm smile. So much warmth here, but whereas she could tell the black man was thinking about the results of the latest warp core diagnostic, she couldn't feel anything about Data.
"You're a machine?"
He nodded and Deanna stepped in for introductions. "River, this is Lieutenant Commander Data and Lieutenant Commander Geordi LaForge. Data and Geordi are both excellent people to ask about warp drive."
River slid into one of the open chairs at the table. "Tell me everything."
"315 years ago, Zefram Cochrane determined that it would be possible to..." Data started.
"History can come later," River interrupted. "How does it work?"
An hour later River found herself in Engineering staring up at the massive warp core. She had a feeling she wasn't technically allowed in here, but since the chief engineer had brought her she didn't think anyone would object. This wasn't like Serenity's engine room, with its cobbled-together appearance and Kaylee's hammock slung up in the corner. This was a sleek and powerful animal, a finely-groomed thoroughbred racer to Serenity's unshod mustang.
Geordi showed her a diagram of the warp core, and then took her around to various major parts. He pointed out the plasma line, the plasma coolant tanks, the magnet constrictors, the power transfer conduits, EPS taps, the reactor chamber housing. River was thrilled with how everything fit together so perfectly.
"So the power transfer conduits take the drive plasma to the warp nacelles where it uses the power to distort spacetime in front and in back of the ship and create a pulsing warp field around the ship." River marveled at the ingenuity of it. "You're not actually doing anything to the ship, just protecting it from the waves of spacetime and letting them push you forward. Inventive."
"Essentially, yes," Geordi confirmed. He was very nice and openly enthusiastic about his field. It made for a very willing and thorough teacher. River liked both him and Data a lot. She liked everyone she'd met here, but she especially liked the two of them. And she really liked Deanna because they were so alike. And the doctor because she reminded her of Simon and what her mother should have been. And the Captain because he treated her as an equal.
She felt like she was betraying Serenity because she liked everyone so much. But it was so quiet and peaceful here. She felt things, but they weren't overwhelming and demanding the way they were on Serenity. Everyone treated her like she was normal; she almost felt normal. She thought she might even be acting and thinking normal.
"What happens if I'm stuck here, Geordi?" she asked him. "If I can't leave, can you teach me everything?"
He looked startled by the question, his mechanical blue eyes dilating and shifting. "We'll be back in Federation space in a week, River. At Starbase 43 in two. If Q hasn't taken you back home by then I think we'll probably have to drop you off there. Starfleet will see to it that you get back to Earth if that's where you want to go."
There was an actual Earth here, too. It wasn't Earth-that-was, it was Earth. This place was so alluring and perfect. But it wasn't home.
"I can learn it all in two weeks," River assured him. "Whatever you can teach me, I can learn. And I want to learn it all."
Geordi laughed again, that pleasant and amused sound. "If you can learn advanced warp theory in two weeks I'll beg you to apply to Starfleet Academy and get Captain Picard to sponsor your application himself."
River was puzzled. "I don't want to go to any academy. I just want to learn it all. And you can teach me here."
"You probably wouldn't get along with the discipline there, but at the rate you've learned this stuff without ever having heard of the concept of warp before?" He paused to shake his head. River thought it might be in appreciation of her intelligence. "You'd make a great engineer, River. I think you'd probably make a great anything, but I'm being selfish for my department. Once you were trained I think the Starfleet Corps of Engineers would snap you up."
River caught a flash of light out of the corner of her eye. She turned to look at it, interested in what would flash like that in Engineering. Its familiarity clicked into place when she spotted the dark-haired man lounging against the wall, his uniform identical to Captain Picard's down to the number of gold circles on the collar. Crow. Q.
"You humans are so limited with your conceptions of the future," he sneered at Geordi. River felt a rising anger that wasn't entirely from knowing he'd tricked her into coming here. She was surprised by the protectiveness she felt.
"I bring you a girl capable of matching me in her own universe and you suggest she become a member of Starfleet? How noble of you, Commander. As well as ask your mighty Enterprise to take up as a garbage scow." Q flecked an imaginary speck of dust of his shoulder. "You're all ignorant of her true potential."
"She wants to go home, Q," Geordi said. He almost sounded like he was scolding the man. "Maybe you should be polite and take her back."
"I can't," he said, shrugging. He hadn't moved from his indolent slouch against the wall. "Only she can do that. And it seems the powers of her mind are limited in this universe. Quite a conundrum, don't you think?" He seemed decidedly amused by the whole situation. River saw where Deanna's contempt came from now.
"Then maybe you should leave and let me get back to teaching her about the place you've so magnanimously led her to," Geordi said coolly. Q ignored him and looked at River.
"I had hoped you'd be useful here, but since you're not I don't care if you stick around. But since there are others who are less than thrilled about your presence upsetting some cosmic balance or another, I'll give you just one more hint, dear. Then I'll be on my way and you'll never hear a peep out of me again." He smiled like he was offering her a great prize. River just stared at him.
He sighed and gave a theatrical flourish. "You're being ungrateful I suppose, but here you are: if you want it enough, you'll be able to get home. Now don't say I never did anything for you."
His smirk - his entire body, along with it - disappeared in another flash of light, leaving a somewhat confused engineering staff looking at each other. Geordi just rolled his eyes and tapped the shiny chevron badge on his chest. It chirped. "LaForge to Captain Picard."
"Picard here. Go ahead, Geordi."
"River and I just had a visit from Q, sir."
"Understood. Both of you report to my Ready Room. Picard out."
Geordi gestured for River to follow him out of Engineering. "I guess you're going to get to see the Bridge too."
The Bridge was a lot like Engineering, and neither was like Ten Forward or her assigned quarters. Those were places designed for homey familiarity, to mimic the comfort of being anywhere but a military vessel. You couldn't mistake the Bridge or Engineering for being anything other than a place of tightly controlled military action.
The Bridge was more compact, but it bustled with the same energy that Engineering did. A man with dark hair and a red-trimmed uniform smiled at her from a chair in the center. Data sat at a station in front of the huge screen that River mistook for a window at first. Then she realized it was actually a display; the word "viewscreen" popped up in her head from her brief perusal of the computer in Sickbay.
There were five other people immersed in tasks in various places around the Bridge, and several other doors than the one she and Geordi came in through. It was nothing like Serenity's bridge, where Wash was often the only occupant. Enterprise was huge and had over 800 people on board; it made Serenity and her nine occupants seem tiny in comparison.
Geordi led her to a door on the other side of the Bridge and pushed a button next to it. She heard Captain Picard's voice call, "Come," and the door slid open obediently to admit them.
Captain Picard was seated behind a desk and gestured for them both to sit down on the couch. He inquired politely how River was doing so far - "fine" - and how she found the crew - "nice."
He wasted very little time on pleasantries before he asked Geordi to describe the encounter, which he did in faithful detail. River was distracted by the stars flying by out the window and didn't fully pay attention to what they were saying. She liked the way the stars streaked by. She wondered if it was from the way light traveled. Since Enterprise was going faster than light they must see the starlight at multiple points, giving it that streaking blurred effect.
It took her a second to realize Geordi had finished describing their incident with Q and that Captain Picard had addressed her. They were strangely formal about some things around here, but not others. She had been introduced to the others by their full name and encouraged to address them by their first, but everyone called him "Captain Picard" or the Captain, with a capital C. Maybe it had to do with respect. They called Captain Reynolds "Mal" on Serenity, but it didn't mean they respected him any less.
Captain Picard could see she hadn't processed what he said, so he asked her again. "Do you think you know how to get home? Was what Q told you enough?"
River had to think about it for a moment. Q had said he couldn't get her home, that she had to do it herself, but that her own power in this universe was diminished. She'd already thought about that part and concluded that she must be in an alternate universe, a parallel dimension, a place where human history hadn't taken the same course as in her verse. There were no aliens in her verse, but there were here. That must be the difference. Without alien help humans had never developed warp drive. It seemed near utopia here; maybe that had happened with alien help.
That brought her to the idea that she had some sort of powers that Q would be interested in and they didn't work the same way here. She'd already become insulated to the idea of being more than human, but the bleak potential of an assassin didn't dominate her abilities anymore. Geordi told her she'd make a good engineer, and Deanna's abilities were so close to some of her own that she knew she could make a good counselor as well. There were so many possibilities now, so many options she could explore.
But then there was the problem that if she went home she'd be as crippled by her abilities as she'd been before. There they were too much to handle, but here they were dulled enough to be useful. She wasn't crazy here. She could think and talk without using riddles, and no one ran after her with a net in case she broke into a million pieces.
If she didn't want to be crazy, would it make her not want to get home? She wanted to get home, back to Simon and Serenity, but she didn't want to be crazy.
"I am unsure," she said. "I believe he meant if I wanted it badly enough, I would be able to figure it out on my own."
"Q led me to believe your living conditions were somewhat sub par in your universe," Captain Picard said, "so if you wish to stay here I can personally assure you I will see to that Starfleet and the Federation set you up properly. If you wish to return home Enterprise and her crew will do everything in our power to assist you."
"You are a generous and compassionate man, Captain Picard," River said. He made her want to cry with how much he reminded her of home. "I'm going to need time to make my decision. Even if I do want to go back to Serenity, there's still a probability I won't be able to figure out how."
"Take whatever time you need, River."
She walked out of his office as a normal girl, and it hurt so much to do it. She could hear Captain Picard and Geordi talking softly as the door slid shut.
"She just makes you want to protect her, doesn't she, sir?"
"Indeed, Geordi. Indeed."
River wanted to sit in her assigned quarters and make a decision, but she found the process daunting and unmanageable. She had no context within which to examine the problem. The closest she'd ever come to it was whether or not to leave her family on Osiris for the Academy. But attending the Academy hadn't precluded ever seeing her family again. Or at least she thought it didn't at the time.
She wanted to sit in her quarters and think everything through, but Deanna chimed on her door and asked if she wanted to see the holodeck. "I could show you Betazed or Earth, if you like," she offered. River wanted to see Earth.
As Deanna led her towards the holodeck, River realized her security guards had disappeared. She sought the reason from Deanna and discovered Captain Picard had released them from that duty. "He thinks you don't need the guarding anymore. And I assured him you knew your way around by now."
River was fascinated by such trust. If anything it made this decision more difficult. She couldn't trust anyone outside of Serenity - and she knew she couldn't trust Jayne most days - but here people trusted each other.
"Why does everyone trust each other so much?" River asked Deanna as they walked. "None of you really know me, but you leave me free to wander and sabotage the ship if I wanted to."
"Trust is earned, River, and in some cases it's earned easily. Captain Picard sees you as an innocent victim of one of Q's pranks, and having been on the receiving end of one of those many times, he's much more understanding of your position," Deanna said.
"But what if I was actually working with Q?"
"You're not."
"Captain Picard knows that?"
"I know that, and I told him."
"Because you're a telepath?"
"Because I'm an empath and I understand people, River." Deanna smiled at her. "I trust you because I can read your emotions and I understand what they mean. You're very conflicted right now and you have a difficult choice to make."
She stopped in front of the wide double doors that River knew opened on the holodeck. She'd explored the concept on her computer and discovered that it was like a highly evolved version of the projection displays she was used to. In essence it was a full-immersion version.
The doors slid open and River followed Deanna into a very large and empty room. Deanna paused inside the entry arch and tapped at a computer screen. "Ah, that one is perfect. Computer, run simulation: Earth, Starfleet Academy, Alpha Zero."
The air shimmered around River and they were suddenly standing on a walkway surrounded by lush green grass and blooming flowers. Daunting white buildings towered over them and a city skyline ran jagged on the horizon. More than the visual, the smell hit River the most. It actually smelled like fresh-cut grass with a faintly perfumed scent of flowers. It smelled just like the grounds at home.
"This is Earth?" she asked.
"This is Starfleet Academy in San Francisco. It's on Earth, yes, on the western seaboard of the North American continent." Deanna pointed towards a reddish suspension bridge just visible through the trees and buildings. "That's the Golden Gate Bridge and that's San Francisco behind it. Starfleet Headquarters and Starfleet Academy are both here. The Federation Headquarters are on the other side of the world, in Paris."
River was afraid to move. "This looks so...real," she breathed. "What happens if I walk towards those buildings?"
"You can go inside if you like. You won't ever run into the walls of the holodeck."
"And if we walk in opposite directions?" River asked eagerly.
"Then we appear to be far away from one another." Deanna smiled at River's obvious delight. "We'll never be more than a few meters from one another, but we can think we're miles apart."
"How does it work?"
"Tiny tractor beams, light projections, and replication. Beyond that you're going to have to ask Geordi," Deanna answered, laughing.
"Does it do people too?"
"Computer, add appropriate number of cadets and staff. ive mode."
Harried-looking people no older than River flickered into existence on the path around them, all mid-stride and heading somewhere with purpose. Others dotted the grass, lounging about while reading, talking, and laughing with one another. It was just what River always thought the word "academy" should mean.
"I wish?" she started, but her throat started to close up at the thought of her brother.
"You wish what, River?" Deanna asked, her voice just the right amount of gentle.
"I wish I could share this all with Simon. I wish I could share it with everyone on Serenity. There's so much peace here. It's like being on Serenity, only a whole universe full of it." The words spilled out, and with them came a few tears. River ached to go home, but she ached to stay and learn too.
"Why can't you share it with them?"
River stopped crying instantly and stared at Deanna open-mouthed. A third option. She'd never considered bring Serenity here to be an option. She could. She knew she could. It would be like what she'd done to get herself here, only on a larger scale. She could manage that.
"Is it possible to bring them here?" Deanna asked, obviously concerned as to River's reaction.
"Yes, I could do it," River said, furiously making calculations in her head. Q mentioned some cosmic imbalance from her presence, but nine people versus one person was an infinitesimal difference as far as the universe was concerned. She paced back and forth with her hands against the sides of her head, muttering under her breath.
Everything crystallized in one moment, the pieces fell into place and the solution became apparent. It was so easy. As easy as jumping off the steps of the cargo bay.
"Thank you, Deanna. I'm going home now." She threw her arms around the woman, the contact throwing the other woman's confusion into sharp focus. "I'll be back with Serenity, I hope. Some of them might not want to come, but I hope they all decide to come. I want you to meet them all. I want them to meet all of you."
River stepped away from Deanna and beamed at her. "Thank you for everything, Deanna. Tell everyone thank you. Tell Geordi he still needs to teach me about warp field theory. Tell Captain Picard that I appreciate the way he treated me. Tell Data I want to know why his eyes are that color."
Deanna just nodded in her uncertainty of what was happening. It made River laugh. She stretched her hands out and twisted with her fingers. The fabric of the space-time continuum unraveled in her fingers and she remade them the way she knew she had to. A light flash brilliantly in her eyes and then went dark.
River was back in the smuggling nook. She knew it was only an instant after she'd left the first time.
She found her brother in the infirmary.
"Oh, Simon! I've been to the most wonderful place!" she exclaimed, grabbing his arm and pulling him in the direction of the door.
"Where did you hide this time?" he asked. He was humoring her, allowing her to drag him out the door and down the hall. "Kaylee says you usually like to hide in the one of the smuggling holes?"
"Well, I tried that, yes. But then Crow showed me how to go to another universe!"
"Another universe, huh?"
"I want to go back, Simon. And I want to take you with me. We'll never have to worry about the Alliance; no one on Serenity will. I found a place where we can all be safe again."
And somewhere in the blackness of space, an omnipotent consciousness, shaped very much like a crow, managed a smile and a laugh.